Sunday, September 18, 2016

One Month

     How is my baby one month old already?!


 It has gone by so, so fast.  It has been the best, hardest, happiest, tiredest month of my life.  Motherhood is hard.  You have it in your mind how you think your baby will be and how you'll be as a mother.  (Well at least I did.)  Newsflash, its not going to be as you thought.  I should've realized this when my labor and delivery went nothing like I imagined.
     Grayson's first appointment with his pediatrician was six days after he was born.  She was concerned about jaundice so every day for the next week, we had to go back for him to have his heel pricked.  We also had to go to the hospital for his PKU test (another heel prick) and to redo the hearing test, which he failed twice after he was born. (He passed the third time, and Bryant says he can now hear 100% of the time. Haha)  His bilirubin levels went down, but two weeks after he was born he still wasn't up to his birth weight.  I started supplementing formula every other feeding to see if that would help.  Here we are, a month after he's been born, and he still isn't back at his birth weight.  It breaks my heart; I feel like it's my fault. We are working to try a few different things to see if that'll help him gain weight and he's had an x-ray on his abdomen and will also have an ultrasound to see if there's anything going on inside of him that could be preventing him.
     Besides all of these problems, and going to the doctor so often, we still think he's pretty perfect.  He had a great first month meeting his grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, and cousins and is looking forward to the next month when he gets to meet even more! He loves the "Rudy" soundtrack, his swing, and when Bryant sings him Hootie and the Blowfish.  I love watching those two together.  G makes the cutest grunts and noises, I never want to forget them.  Especially when he sneezes and then sighs afterwards.
     Even on the roughest of days, when I put him in to bed, I can't help but smile because one, he's so freaking cute (sorry, Karen!), and two, I still can't believe he's ours and I feel so blessed to be his mom.
   I love you, G! Here's to gaining weight in your second month of life.